INTIMACY: Friendship & Capitalism’s Grand Narrative
Author: Bobby Valentine | Filed under: American Empire, Bobby's World, Culture, LoveThe first act of divine love recorded is the act of creation. In love and by love the God of love created all that exists. But the first word of mercy in the Bible, before humanity utters a word, is God’s care for human need. That word of mercy is “it is not good for the human being to be alone” (The First Testament: A New Translation). God in love creates and God in mercy provides for human intimacy. We rightly read Genesis 2 about marriage but the human need for intimacy and companionship is not only filled in marriage. Humans do not thrive apart from intimacy.
But God’s act of mercy is subverted by our modern western culture in powerful ways. The ancient book called Sirach (regarded as holy at Qumran, in the Septuagint, the Latin Vulgate, regarded as part of the Apocrypha by Protestants but part the King James Version), addresses the subject of friendship repeatedly. Intimate friends are a treasure.
“Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter:
whoever finds one has found a treasure.
Faithful friends are beyond price;
no amount can balance their worth.
Faithful friends are life-saving medicine;
and those who fear the Lord will find them.
Those who fear the Lord direct their
friendship aright,
for as they are, so are their neighbors also”
(Sirach 6.14-17; see also 9.10-16; 19.13-17; 22.19-26; 27.16-21; 37.1-6)
But as noted our culture is corrosive to genuine intimacy. I want to suggest two interrelated forces that war against God’s first mercy: Western individualism and our economic definitions of life.
In America capitalism is not simply a theory of economics but a “grand narrative” or “master narrative” for living. It shapes our view of the world, how we see ourselves, and most importantly what think matters and counts as success. In this “grand narrative” Friendship and intimacy are less important because they have no “cash value.”
The capitalist grand narrative subtly teaches us to conceive of persons and relationships as products rather than a persons. We “monetize” the divine image bearer. Love, intimacy, friendships become a sales transaction. We “sell ourselves” in ourselves in ways that we hope others will “invest” in us.
But the grand narrative does not stop there, because it is aggressively materialistic, we come to believe that things satisfy our longings more than people. This consumerism is lethal for relationships because the last thing the economic grand narrative wants us to believe is that we can be content … with anything!
Consumerism both fosters and is built upon discontent. Nothing lasts and that includes relationships. If a product wears down, we do not repair it, we throw it away. If a relationship is not serving “me” then we throw it away as easily as the product. The “master narrative” in fact teaches us to EXPECT the relationships to end. And this expectation in turn trains us to think working through/repairing is not “worth it.”
The values of friendship, of intimacy, are directly antithetical to rugged individualism and the economic grand narrative we often hold so dear. Intimacy whether in a good friendship or marriage is requires people who live a grand narrative that is fundamentally just, people who are generous in spirit, people who are loyal, people who are faithful, people who are trustworthy and people who make themselves available to others.
Just reflecting









