My Life in (Secular) Song …Author: Bobby Valentine | Filed under: Bobby's World, Humor, Tags
My Life in (Secular) Song
My good friend and brother, Bobby Cohoon, has decided to make life interesting for a number of folks by forcing us to be creative. Bobby led the way by summarizing his life in a song and “tagged” me to do the same. I have thought about this (not long though) and what follows is my attempt to fulfill the request.
My life began with my birth in 1968 when the doctor told my parents You Can’t Always Get What You Want (Rolling Stones). As I matured into the dating stage my motto became Ace Freely’s I Am Trouble Walking but I was really a nice guy though many at the time thought I was Runnin with the Devil (Van Halen).
I came to a Crossroads (Cream) in my life and went to Bible College and was soon accused of fomenting a Revolution (Beatles) yet my teacher said I was Thick as a Brick (Jethro Tull). After being told to Come Sail Away (Styx) to a strange new sea in Florida; I spotted Pamella and thought Oh’ Pretty Woman (Roy Orbison). She looked me over and said you’re a Sharp Dressed Man (ZZ Top). Not wanting to be dishonest I confessed to being an Average Ordinary Guy (Joe Walsh).
Taking a risk Pamella and I married. Shortly after the honeymoon I did or said something really stupid so she warned me there would be No Sugar Tonight (Guess Who). But I looked her in the eye and whispered You’re Still Beautiful to Me (Bryan Adams). We were a happy couple and soon bundles of joy arrived. But one day we could not find Rachael so we were desperately Callin All Angels (Train). We looked at Talya and just reflected that she was just a Sweet Child of Mine (Guns & Roses).
God led us into the ministry but he warned that many of the brothers have become Comfortably Numb (Pink Floyd). Being the wise sage he is, my dad exhorted me to Carry On My Wayward Son (Kansas). We lived in Mississippi for a few years but were unceremoniously chased out and Pamella encouraged me Don’t Look Back (Boston). So we followed the Long and Winding Road (Beatles) to Milwaukee.
We truly loved the land of beer and cheese but one day the Cloud moved off to a distant land in the Saguaro Desert. So we packed the cars and simply Roll[ed] On Down the Highway (BTO). Out here in the desert I have decided to become a Paperback Writer (Beatles). Now our lives are filled with joy and love.